Your turning point?

Your turning point?

If you have been a widow for a number of years, do you remember what your turning point was when you knew you were going to be OK?  Maybe you are not there yet.  Perhaps you don’t remember and as you think back, you just are not sure when that happened but you know it did. 

Honestly, I do not remember when that actually happened.  I am diffidently a type A person (ok for those who know me you can quit laughing know).  I love order in my life, I love a routine and like a plan for my life.  I am one that usually has a goal in my life and I enjoy working towards that goal. Some of those goals are short term and some are long term goals.

However, when I was faced with the challenge of what I thought the plan was for my life, and it had changed drastically, how was I going to get through that!  I knew my belief in God was strong and that He would pull me through.  But did I have enough faith to believe He would really bring me though to that turning point when I would know I had arrived.

How easy is it to on the top of the mountain when things are going well!  Let a life changing event happen in our lives and we are in the lowest part of our lives.   How do we handle that?  Is this something we can handle on our own?  For me that answer is absolutely not!  So often the comfort for me is found in verses in scripture which reads:  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of:all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any a-affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:2 – 3

When I think back of how I got to that point when I knew I was going to make it, it was the little things that led up to knowing I would be ok. Things like cleaning out Dan’s clothes, what I wanted to keep as personal memories, going to that first wedding alone, our children’s weddings, the births of our grandchildren…..   My list could go on.  I have been blessed with keeping great friendships with three of Dan’s friends and their wife’s who continue to be in my life to this day to help me through a difficult time.

I grew up on Southern Gospel music.  One of my favorite songs is call God on the Mountain sung by Lynda Randle.  If you go onto YouTube you can search for it there.  It’s a song of such hope and knowing that God is truly our comfort and with us on the mountain and in the valley.  I have listened to this song over and over and the peace knowing that God is our comfort is amazing.

May I carefully suggest a couple of things?  Perhaps you need a little nudge to help you see where you have come. Keep in mind, we cannot change what has happened in our lives but we can look back at how we were able to get through those decisions to move on. 
  • May I suggest you list some of the difficult decisions you have had to make?  Using two columns, one of what you needed to do and how you did you handle that.  
  • With the things you have had to pack up, what did you do with those things?  Were there those who were less fortunate that were able to use those things?  I know we would love to hang onto everything but that isn’t always possible or healthy.
  • This one may be very difficult and not for everyone to do.  Unless you have remarried or are dating, you are now single.   What choices have you made to make new friends, or just doing something on your own?  Thank goodness I am now comfortable going to a movie by myself.  It’s amazing how often I see others – both men and women sitting alone at the movie theater.

Perhaps take a few moments to reflect on what you do have.   Oh there will be times that is truly difficult!  Believe me even after 21 years, there are times I think, hmmmm what would Dan do, say or how would he handle that?  During those thoughts I am fortunate to have those I can rely on to help me and reflect on what I do have.

My prayer is that you begin to see the little turning points in your life.  Eventually you will see more of them!  Eventually you will see that you are beginning to thrive.

As each of us travels down this journey a little differently.  We are all individuals who loved our men in our lives who were all individuals.  It may be a similar journey but none of our paths are identical.  The one main constant is God traveling down this journey with us


Blessings to each of you as you walk down this path.   May you continue to feel God’s arm wrapped around you.

Published by naomigerbs

My passion is helping widows live, heal, grow and in time thrive.

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