Forgiveness and Peace
You may be thinking what does ‘Forgiveness’ have to do with widowhood? As many struggle through the grief of our spouse, we may be wondering if we did enough for your spouse. Maybe your spouse died quickly and you didn’t have the opportunity to say things to them to make things right. Or perhaps, your spouse suffered with a lengthy illness and you may be wishing you would have done more.
Many have shared the ‘what ifs’ of their relationship with their spouse. Many have shared they had an amazing marriage and yet there were things they wished they had done differently. Still others had a marriage of ups and downs with regrets. Others have said they are glad the rough years were in the beginning of their marriage and with God’s help were able to work things out. And yet others said the last few years were the hardest but they were committed to their vows and believed God was with them.
Regardless of what your marriage was like, when your spouse dies, many have shared that they have had guilt and have felt they will never have a chance to ask for forgiveness. One of the many great verses on forgiveness is from Ephesians 1:7 which reads: In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. How easy is it for us to feel guilty about what we cannot say or do? God truly does not want us to live in the past with what we cannot change. He has forgiven us all by dying on the cross. He has given us grace and mercy to move forward.
Our saving grace is God’s redemption. John 10:10 states: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life and have it full. In other words, Satan will try to take away your joy with guilt. Christ has come to give your life to the fullest for you to live without guilt.
If we keep looking in the rear view mirror, we are unable to move forward. Forgiving ourselves is one of the most difficult things to do. Remember you are in charge of your thoughts. If you continue to harbor the ‘what ifs’ or the unforgiveness, you will not be able to move forward with forgiveness. We need to take control of our thoughts and get rid of the negative thoughts. We can then have peace as it says in Isaiah: 3:26 says: You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
It is amazing as time goes by, we do seem to forget the things that hurt us and are able to remember the good things that have happened in our lives. I truly believe that comes with forgiveness. Psalms 103:12 reads: As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your transgressions from us. In other words, God does not keep track of our mistakes and transgressions. They are gone and He forgives us.
God has so much in store for us and wants us to be forgiven and live a full life. We just need to believe! My prayer for you if you are feeling as if you ca not forgive yourself, that you would pray for God’s forgiveness. Let it go and let God take control of your life.
Remembering the good times we shared and letting go of the not so good times, is much healthier. As we think of our spouse’s goofy laugh, or their quirky mannerism’s, that favorite shirt of theirs that we wished we had thrown away (maybe we eventually did) or how they mowed the lawn or shoveled the driveway puts a smile on our face.
May God richly bless you as walk this journey and remember the good and forgive what we have no control off. Remember God loves each of us and has much in store for us.