As we begin the new year of 2022, during the grieving process, it is really difficult to think of all things new for several reasons. Each of us is different in how we handle things. We are also at different stages of our grief. Each year we think things will get better, but it certainly hasn’t gone that way so far. Unfortunately, that process is not up to us and we truly need to rely on God for each stage of life.
God promises us all things new! How do we believe that as we are going through each stage of grief? One of the blessings is that God puts those in your life that have gone through this journey also. He has provided those who will walk with you through each stage. One of Gods promises is in Jeremiah 29:11 ESV which reads ‘ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’ Oh, but at the early stages, it is hard to believe it isn’t it?
Accepting what we cannot change is hard to do! However, with the beginning stages of this journey, there are many things we need to do to move forward with all that needs to be done. Unless you have a close friend or relative to help you through the beginning stages, there are those who may find themselves sinking. Perhaps your minister or a Grief Share group would be able to help you through this. That’s not to say there will not be those days when you truly miss your husband.
When I became a widow, there wasn’t much to offer to help with grief. Grief Share did not start until the early 2000’s. Most hospitals or churches did not have a support system. I was fortunate to have had a brother who had lost his wife several years before I lost my husband and he did a great job of helping me with each stage. We both attended the same church at the time and so we saw each other almost weekly.
I must say, even with the promises God has for us, we need to take it slowly and believe He truly is with us. The Psalms of the Old Testament has so many promises. One for sure is: Psalm 16:11 (NIV): You always show me the path that leads to life. You will fill me with joy when I am with you. You will give me endless pleasures at your right hand.
I pray that along your journey, you will sense the prayers that others are praying for you. It often is just the little things in life such as a cup of coffee, someone opening up the door for you, someone picking you up for an event or to go to church with you. All of these small things are so helpful and seem to show us God’s love. It’s amazing as time goes on, you will become that widow to help another widow along the way.
May I also suggest something that may be difficult for you in the early stages of widowhood? As I have mentioned before, please take care of yourself! Some days it is difficult to get out of bed, but try taking time to go for a walk or drive thru a coffee place for a cup of coffee even if it is by yourself. Those may sound difficult in the beginning but they eventually will be the beginning steps to help you move forward. With God’s help you will find healing in each new step…
Although we cannot bring our spouse back, think about what he would want for you! Would he want you to sit and be sad all the time? I do not believe so. As a Christian, he is in heaven with God and looking down on us smiling.
For some reason this past Christmas holiday, I have heard or read of several ways that many widows have honored their spouses. Many have put up their husbands’ stockings and had family members or friends bring notes regarding them. They then put them in the stocking and throughout the day they would read the notes. Some were funny stores, things that had been taught to them as they grew up or something thar reminds them of their dad/husband/brother or friend. Others made Christmas ornaments to put on the tree. Some have done this for years while others do it for a short time. It’s amazing how this can be so healing for each widow.
Remember God is in control and with you each step of the way, even though we may not ‘feel’ it. Another promise in the scripture is: 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
As I wrap this up, I realize each step becomes one step closer in the healing process of your journey. Please know each of you are in my prayers.
Blessings to each of you!