Bored – Sad – Happy

It seems that we are often bored and need to figure out how we are going to move forward.  Just remember it takes time and often we need to figure that out!  Each of us handles this a bit differently.  Being involved with a widow group helps us to work through this.   Job 8:21 reads: “He will once again fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.”  What a great promise! 

Chuck Swindoll has said, “Laughter is the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever granted humanity.”  How do we get to the point that we can smile and have laughter as part of our daily life again?

Sadness is such a big part of grief.  We often wonder if we will ever be happy again. As we think about those we loved, these memories will help us heal and once again laugh.   Proverbs 14:13 reads: “Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.”

I am aware that often it is easier to seclude oneself as we are feeling so alone.  My prayer is that you have a couple good friends that are watching over you at this time.  This may also be a good time to journal or keep notes on what you are doing or going through.  If you find you are isolating yourself quite often, I may suggest making an appointment with a grief counselor, meet with your pastor, priest, or rabbi.  Another idea may be to talk with your doctor.   Each of us handles this type of stress differently.  Pay attention to your body.  Our bodies have a way of letting us know that our emotions are affecting our bodies.

For any of you who I refer to as seasoned widows, perhaps keep an eye open to someone who has just lost a loved one.  This may be a spouse, a child, a parent, a sibling, or a good friend.  God does have a promise for us all.  Proverbs 31:25-26 which reads:   She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  The day will come when joy and laughter in our lives again!

In my early years of widowhood, I often felt like I had a fake smile.  It was easier to have a fake smile than a sad face then be asked what was wrong.  Ever felt that way?  As I began to heal, I was able to talk about what I had gone through and how I was working through it.  There are a lot of great books on widowhood to read to help you.  These are just a few that you may want to check out:

• From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You by Miriam Neff
• Finding Norm by Jana Berndt
• Words To Live By Sarah Kroenke
• The God of All Comfort: Finding Your Way into His Arms by Dee Brestin
• Navigating Grief with Humor by Melissa Mork

With time joy, will come in the morning.  Luke 6: 21 promises:  Blessed are ye that hunger now: for you shall be filled.   Blessed are ye that weep now; for ye shall laugh.  As I often say, be patient with yourself.  We will always miss those we have loved and lost.  The time will come when you will once again laugh, be not so bored and not so sad.

Blessings to each of you.  May you feel God’s arms wrapped around you!