What’s my next step?

It seems we certainly remember going a lot of places when we were married with our spouse don’t, we?  Now that we are alone, in the beginning, it is just easier to stay home than go out alone.  There comes a time when we need to take that next step.

Over time, we will be able to do this.  We had quite a discussion about this at our last coffee.  Some of the new widows thought they would never be able to do this.  However, as we talked about it, they realized how far a lot of our widows had come.  We were able to remind these new to our group that for them, just coming to coffee for the first time was a huge step.  Timothy talks about being alone and states in 2 Timothy 4:16: “No one stood by me the first time I defended myself; all deserted me.  But the Lord stayed with me and gave me strength.”

Be careful though, as it is easy to either become a busy body or become secluded.  You may be thinking it is easier for me to accept than it is you as I have been a widow a lot longer.  However, the reality is that God is with us each step of the way all of our lives.

Often times, we are hardest on ourselves.   Are you able to give yourself grace without feeling guilty?  In Hebrews 4:16 (NIV) it reads: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”  This could mean something as simple as being ok with having cereal for dinner.  Or perhaps trying to decide if you will accept an invitation but not sure you are ready to depending on where you are in your stage of moving forward.

Be aware that God’s goodness is with us always!  When we are down and out or second guessing ourselves, we often question God being with us each step of the way. Often times we just need to ask God for His help and rely on His goodness. That’s not to say there may be times we question our decision.  Remember, God is with you each step of the way.

Once we take the first step of getting out and about, it will become easier.  May I recommend meeting up with a widow’s group or a widow within your church, perish or synagogue. 

May I suggest starting with small things first. 

  • Things such as going through the drive thru to purchase a cup of coffee. 
  • Or perhaps going inside the coffee shop with a book and read a bit. 
  • This may sound off the wall but going to a movie by yourself. 
  • Grocery shopping.  I mention this as a lot of times grocery shopping was done as a couple.
  • Or perhaps going for a walk outside by yourself.

Within time, God will reshape your broken heart.  Scripture tells us in Psalm 94:19:  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.  Perhaps allow God to reshape your heart like His. You will begin to do things you never thought you would be able to. Remember to take one step at a time. 

Rest in the Lord that He will be with you each step of the way. 

Blessings to you!

Published by naomigerbs

My passion is helping widows live, heal, grow and in time thrive.

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