Each of us has had a unique marriage. Some have been totally amazing marriages. I have had widows tell of how the strength of their passed spouse brings them strength today and going forward based on their relationship. In researching scripture, if we accept that Christ is in charge, the scripture makes sense. In Psalm 59:16 (NIV) it reads: But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
The memories of our love with our spouses brings us much joy along with the pain of the loss. The things we remember the most are holding hands, sitting together in church, going out for dinner, dancing, or a movie. Planning our trips. Many of you have been able to have your spouse when your children were married or grandchildren were born.
That’s not to say their marriages were perfect. However, from early on, they were able learn how to work on their differences. Many things these couples have learned to agree on are:
- Understand and respect each other’s differences.
- Get support from family and friends.
- Seek counseling.
- Keep on showing affection.
- Do not minimize your own feelings.
- Continue to learn about your spouse.
- Wait it out.
Many of you may be thinking, why did I put these items in this blog. Partly because you may be thinking you already did several of these things so I must have had a good marriage. Or perhaps you thought you did, but none of the above applied per your memory! Think about this: Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
This scripture means so much to me. Ephesians 4:32: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. This may seem easy but to those who have had a sweet marriage, this scripture is so important. Even if your marriage was not so sweet, taking this scripture to heart, God will help us to be kind and compassionate.
The strength or lack of strength during our marriages, certainly will help us focus on the future. If your marriage was strong, you have a lot of wisdom to go on. If it was not so strong, one can focus on how to improve where you are at. It is amazing how God’s strength helps us through life. I Peter 5:10 (NIV): And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
Christ does want us to live in peace and help strengthen others!
What better way to do this, than help those who have gone through what we have gone through. Hebrews 12:14 reads: Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”
None of us is perfect. However, we can be there for each other with God’s grace. Let’s use God’s help in helping other widows go through these tough times. That way, they will also be able to help others.
May God richly bless each of you. Let’s let our lights shine to help others!