Making decisions isn’t always easy to do! Especially now that we are making decisions or choices on our own. The one we bounced things off of is no longer here to help make those choices. Many times, the decisions were easy and often times we had quite the discussion on what we should do! Now that things have changed, the big decisions need to focus on God for direction.
Over time, I did realize I needed to figure this out, but knew I could not do it on my own. I needed to rely on someone who truly had the answers. Believing in God was always instilled in me from an early childhood. So, I knew I would go this route first. One of the great scriptures for me was Deuteronomy 31:6 which reads (NIV): Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
My thought was – how do I be strong and courageous when I am hurting emotionally! However, if I truly believed in God, I was going to have to learn to lean on him to allow him to be there for me. Of course, that may take time and patience isn’t a virtue of mine. But I did have enough faith to believe he would be with me each step of the way.
Things I needed help with, I wanted trusted people to contact. In reading Miriam Neff’s book ‘Where Do I Go From Here?’: she has offered some great advice… She calls these people her Board of Directors. Miriam’s thoughts:
- Choose a godly person who has experience a similar loss. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
- Choose a person who has financial wisdom who you trust. Psalm 24:1
- Choose a practical friend. Proverbs 15:22
- Chose a friend who is an encourager. Philippians 4:8-9
- Choose a friend with spiritual discernment and courage. Proverbs 27:17
- Choose a friend or relative whose priority is your wellbeing. Proverbs 18:2
These people will change over time and that is good, I know mine have. There are times you think you really know someone, but they are not necessarily looking out for you in the best way.
I would suggest to get connected with a Grief Share Group, The Widow Might Organization (https://www.widowmight.org/) or your church or synagogue to give you some direction.
The changes in your life take time so please be patient with yourself! When getting direction from others, you will be able to look back and know that you will begin to make better choices. In Romans 15:13 (NIV) reads: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. In time it will. And he will.
For me, reflecting on what I have gone through in my live, it has taught me to look at the whole picture. Some things were more difficult to go through than others that’s for sure! Not all of our choices are good ones. But with time, we will learn to rely on God and the advice from others. Keeping that in mind, our decisions will become easier and we will make better choices…. Assurance of that is found in Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV): Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
Blessings to each of you as you walk through this journey. Many of you have come a long way and others are still struggling.