Well folks– it’s that time of year already! The time during good times, we look so forward to! We may have looked forward to the holiday with the traditions of the past or perhaps the new traditions we have decided to make. Easier said than done on making changes, isn’t it?! So much has happened to a lot of you during the last year or maybe even two years. Go easy on yourself! I know I have said this many times, but please just take one day at a time or just one step at a time.
Anyone who has gone down this path, totally understands how tough this time of year is. One verse that comes to mind is Psalms 34:18 which reads: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. This verse is God’s promise that He is there for you and I. This doesn’t mean life will be easy. It’s a promise that God is always with us.
Let’s take this blog in sections. Let’s remember what you have had:
- The vacations you two have had.
- Your children and grandchildren.
- The favorite things you did together.
- The silly things you two have done together.
Consider changing things up such as:
- Plan and take a trip over the holidays.
- If you have always done the entertaining, consider suggesting someone else to prepare the dinner.
- Invite someone completely different for the holiday.
- Give yourself permission to spend the holiday by yourself.
Ways to remember your spouse at Christmas:
- Put together a memory book of your spouse. Invite others to add memories to this book.
- Make or purchase a holiday decoration in honor of your loved one.
- Donate to a charity of your choice or your late husband’s favorite charity.
- Continue to hang the stocking of your loved one. Let your guests know ahead of time to bring a written note of your loved one. As they arrived, put the note in the stocking. During the down time, share the stories with all. The stories can be funny memories or something special they remember.
- Hang onto your spouse’s favorite coffee cup and bring it out for each holiday.
Don’t forget about you! For those who are mom’s or grandmother’s, it is so easy to take care of everyone else and forget about ourselves. Part of that maybe we just do not want to deal with the holiday and it’s easier to worry about other’s than it is ourselves. Consider a few of these:
- Schedule a massage, pedicure of manicure for yourself.
- Give yourself permission to turn down events that you are having a difficult time deciding if you want to attend.
- Be open with your family and friends on what you are feeling. Unless they have walked in your shoes, they may not understand your choices. But that is ok. For now, it is about you!
Remembering that this is the season of changes from the birth of Jesus through today. Does that mean life will be easy, absolutely not! The promise regarding Jesus from the Old Testament says: Isaiah 7:14: Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign. The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. As with the promise of Jesus birth from the Old Testament to the reality of the New Testament, is we have the hope that we will be able to move forward and see our loved ones again.
I often get pretty sentimental over the holidays. I miss the fact my ‘helper’ isn’t here to help. However, my kids have been amazing on helping out with the holidays.
Believe me when I say that one day you will smile and laugh again. God wants you to be happy and smile again! The reality is, so would your loved one!
My prayer is that you find God’s peace as you do your best to get through these first couple of holidays without your loved one. May you feel God’s arms wrapped around you.
Hugs, peace and blessings to each of you!
4 thoughts on “What to expect during the holidays!”
This is so very true. I still feel so alone. I do hope someday I won’t. I think my adult children are also feeling down as the holidays approach. I do have to learn to lean on myself they all have someone to lean on so I should quit worrying about them and as you said give myself permission to be happy
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear you loud and clear Cindy! Remember that our kids all grieve differently than Iwe do. Even though we are grieving the loss of the same peson, the relationships are different. The memories we have had with our spouse will be there but with time we will grieve differently. I have found the good and funny memories are what keeps me going. With time, I have found my kids have opened up and we can talk about the lose in a good way. Thay doesn’t mean we are never sad, but it helps to talk about it. None of my grandkids were around at the time of our loss. However, they all talk about Grampa Dan with us all. It feels like they know him without ever having met him. That puts a smile on our faces – and sometimes a tear. Hugs to you!!!
I’m certainly starting to feel the loneliness of the upcoming holidays, this my first year alone.
Oh how I totally understand Donna. Give yourself time…. Each of us goes at our own pace. I hope some of these ideas will help you during the holidays. God bless you!
LikeLiked by 1 person